Saturday, August 08, 2009


This picture is terrible. Im trying to purse my lips. Like I could be that kind of model.

Even my hand is posing. See how unrelaxed it seems.

I love the armband. My wifes grandmother gave it to me (God bless her goodness). Its a handmade Olga M. Dahl and crafted by an half-ancient pattern called The Kings Pattern. Rings are both from the wife.

In Christiania we where chatting with some old moviedirector over beers and joints in this perfect cafe so full of people that everybody was sharing picknicktables with strangers. (Sorry "No Photo"-rule is strictly enforced in that part of Christiania.) The director thougth I was a gangster because of the thumbring. When we where crossing the swedish-norwegian border, we where searched by customs for 2 hours; and had to wait for atleast one more for the next bus --- and I suspect the jewelery was part of the reason they chose us for inspection. My Christiania-cap was hidden, so it couldnt have been that.

But seriously I didnt know thumb-rings was a gangster thing? Here I was all worried it might be a gay thing. Please comment your opinion on this and other secret symbols you'd like me to write about.

A little better. This is taken on OSL waithing for my plane to Lodz. The people in the background are speaking polish. At this point I've been traveling for about 8-9 hours and I've been drinking for about 5-6. My taxfree-poison is Aquavita and some german brandy that comes in a handy 1dl pocketsize with a cork screw.

I got the Conan t-shirt for writing some terrible fan-poem for the norwegian version of the magazine. It was written in some kind of makebelive-nynorsk and was about battlebirds devouring your dead eyes on the field of murder; while your soul is feasting in Valhalla.

I hope and belive I will have the courage to die with honour. The old gods are not dead - they are our Lords saints and arch angels: St. Odin will help me prevail like a man through all ordeals of battle, danger and betrayal.

This one did'nt turn out to bad. Kitty Oblonskij took it. If you look closely you can just make out "BEST FOOD BY TOM MALDON" below the Sphinx sign. I've never heard of this Tom Maldon-character, and I cant be bothered to google him, but it seems very reassuring doesnt it? Like he has been on television or something. A celebrity. A man with a reputation to protect.

The food and service is so good, the meat so perfectly spiced I hardly belive the crappy sauses they are serving. If Tom Maldon only knew!


I asked Ewa to pose so I could sneak a picture of the family posing for their picknic-picture. Me, Stasjeck, Ewa and Asha where having sunday dinner at this nice-looking but insignificant resturant in the cabin-area. They where all beeing very non-chalant and sarkastic of the family eating and drinking together on a sunday. Sunday is family-time. You dont have to go to church, but you should spend it with your family, and if you're an expat you should spend it with your people. They are your closest allies in a hostile world.

The guy is Moreass or Marek. He tells me his heart is broke. The girl works as some kind of a model, and loves posing. Marek takes pictures of her all evening, and brags to me about fucking her in the morning. If its true he was only fullfilling some slave-fantasy of hers, and only making himself a fool in my eyes by bragging of his lack of discretion - like that would make the boy more of a man in my humblest of opinions.

This picture here is somewhat interesting. I take most of my pictures with an old Nokia N95 with a Carl Zeiss lens. Its not really all that good, like this photo illustrates. Model-girl looks quite good, and comes through very good on the picture - while Philosopher girl is laughing in the smudgy background. In RL Model-girl looked quite stupid not moving for 30 seconds, while Philosopher-girl felt as intriguingly vague and alive as she comes off here.


We went to the cabin of Ashas parents for a few days. This is Asha and Stasjek playing badmington. Both are tennlisplayers, seemingly like most of the polish élite. They where boyfriend/girlfriend for six months when they both where young and inexpirienced, and watching this match was like watching them fuck. Very erotic. I remember missing my wife at some point during it.

Asha and her three dogs, taking a sunbath. The bitch on the other chair is as unruly as her master. She's a real psyco bitch, and it will take a real man to please and master her temper and moods.

She had just broken up with her boyfriend for three years a few days ago. And then her kitten goes missing. She was so heartbroken for the poor kitten even thinking of it makes me want to cry. Didnt mention the boyfriend with a word. Out looking for the kitten at 5 in the morning after 3 hours sleep. Didnt mention the boyfriend with a word. She was heartbroken for the kitten.

I admit that she is one of the most beautifull and hot women I have ever met. But she is not perfect. A couple of weeks later she was dating some boy so stupid and uncool both me and Stasjeck wanted to fucking smack him. But we didnt. Stasjek wanted to call her ex boyfriend and tell him she was behaving like a fucking whore, but Ewa and me convinced him not to. In retrospect I regret. This dude was fucking a girl missing her lost kitten, emotinally wounerable fucking wreck she was, and thus the dude is logically next to a fucking rapist and deserves all her ex could fucking get him.


Im posting some unpublished pictures from Lodz, Malmö and Copenhagen in the next few posts. This is Agnes' cockandbullstory busines-partner and good friend Carla Bruni. The one hiding her face is Agnes herself. She is notoriously impossible to get a picture of, and increadibly shy.

I have like a million pictures like this. Hiding her face from the camera. Destroying my almost perfect pictures, making them fucking art. (God! I hate art.)

Except for this time - when I fucked it up. Most of the good pictures are taken by Kitty Oblonskij. All the bad pictures are taken by me.

I was once allowed to take a picture of her shoe. Its a nice shoe, but I really did it just to find out exactly how camerashy she really is. Maybe she thinks she is ugly?

And interestingly enough, when she puts on the glasses she completly changes her personality. This girl is not afraid of no camera, and she knows she is the essence of eastern beauty. I think maybe this one is the one who truly love the cock and bull stories.

For your spellbook

Like the "My blood is perfect, strong and red"-mantra that flashes through my mind whenever I see the scientology-ad, you can apply mantras, self-hypnosis commands or short prayers on other heavily markedet brands. For instance you can programme your selv to think "I love fish!" whenever you see this symbol here, the golden arches of McDonalds.

This will give atleast four beneficial effects. 1. You'll be less likly to eat the evil food of McDonalds. 2 You'll be less likly to eat meat at all. 3. You'll love fish - and it is good to love living things. 4. And your general capacity for love will increase since at the root of "I LOVE FISH!" is "I LOVE!!". Try it on for size, when you see that it works, apply other mantras to other agressive brands. ("Im a non smoker" is a good one for your favourite cigarette-brand... ;)

When it has changed your life you can PAY YOUR DEBTS to me by donating the apropriate amount on my wifes paypalaccount.

In the ghetto

We are among the 'lucky' who have gotten a place to live in a public housing project. When we moved in here a few years a go; walking into the hallway of the 5-apartment building; I spontaniously started beatboxing, hummdrumming and singing boom-chk-oom'omm-chk in the ghetto oom-chk-oom'omm-chk in the ghetto...

Our neighbours where a fine mix of asylants, immigrants, white trash, druggies, alcoholics, and ofcourse us - the suicidal mental pasient and his wife. I remember the joy we felt when the white trash was changed out with some heroinist. These guys have had (that I know of) one party in two years - and they only play music like once every full moon and then only for a couple of hours. Fucking best neighbours I've ever had.

When I left for Lodz this shit had been standing in the entrance hallway for like a month. Two months later its still there like the public hallway - the first thing our guests see - is some fucking storeroom for their crap.

Scientology ads

While clicking on scientology-ads ofcourse are funny - it cost the scientology guys money; I strongly advice you to keep your head out of their matrix of bullshit.

Check Operation Clambake for the score on their bullshit. You can read defector stories and such, ofcourse, but more interestingly you can read all the papers you have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars and years of your life to gain access to in the scientology system.

Students of magic: Several strong spells lie within their grimoire. Beware of the cursetrap - while it wont hurt neigther mundanes or masters - adepts of magic take risks reading their materials. 2 years after I still have to counter their spell whenever writing about this organization. ("My blood is perfect, strong and red.")


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